“He was freaking the guys out…” so is now dead. Lawrence King was shot twice in the head for acting “like a girl” and professing his attraction to other boys. The fragile masculinity and sexual identity of the kid who shot Lawrence means he faces the possibility of a lifetime in California’s unforgiving prison system.

Really, what the fuck is up with that?

It’s always about me here so…school based homo-hate always makes me reflect on my own high school experiences. Fortunately–or not, I didn’t fully own my queerness until college. Then again, maybe I did know back then, but didn’t have the language or imagination to come out. Either way, it’s a blessing really because unlike many a queer kids, I was able to feel at home in my high school. I was a jock, elected to student council, played in the band and even had a social life. I went to an international school in Tokyo which meant bonding over a shared language, growing up in a megapolis and well–just fun and games.

This also meant an elite New England college experience was a bigger adjustment than realizing I Liked Girls. My identity being so closely tied to that Tokyo-intaaah experience is probably why I spent so many of my immediate post-coming out years worrying about how my friends from Back in the Day would judge my queerness. I’m grateful that my anxieties were largely unwarranted and regret the lost years in between. Perhaps it’s revisionist history, but I’ve come to believe that if I had come out in high school, my friends would have figured out a way to support me…or at the very least not shoot me in the head while hanging at the gazebo of Nogawa-koen or during a nomikai at Tsubo-hachi.

Then again, maybe that unsubstantiated faith reflects my desperate desire to believe that I would have stood up for the fruity, makao-no-okama kids in our class. Sadly, I can’t say I would have. Actually, I know for a fact that I didn’t. And that’s why Lawrence King, Matthew Shepard and the countless nameless queer kids will haunt me forever.

On a less Me oriented note, Asm. Mike Eng (D-Monterey Park) –carrying the hate-crimes prevention torch of his wife and former Asm. Judy Chu (can we say dynasty?) has introduced a bill that would allocate $150,000 for “diversity education” in select school districts. Seems the bill isn’t listed yet, but I’ll post something when it is so You Can Show Some Love. Also, how fucked up is it that Oxnard is Sen.Kuehl’s district–first out queer state legislator and the insiders say she’s the Smartest Legislator in Sacramento. Relevance? Sen. Keuhl is a champion of queer youth and successfully sponsored legislation prohibiting harassment of queer youth in schools. Last session, SB 777 (Keuhl), drew Right Wing Homo-Hate from the usual suspects including those Chinese American churches. The dumb-ass factor is that this was basically a clean-up bill that standardized non-discrimination terms in public education curricula, i.e. nothing new just tightening language and clarifying obligations from almost a decade ago. Get with the program peoples. Send a letter, support more money towards go-homo educamacation.