Remember September?
≡ Category: Bonklets, Semi-daily thoughts | ≅ 5 Comments
Gots to admit, not so much. But apparently, September did happen.
There are pictures to help us remember.
Fall is upon us, complete with turning leaves, a nip to the air, and touches of both melancholy (bye-bye, summer vacation) and new beginnings (hello, TrapperKeeper!)
The days are packed with the joy of Yuuki, Ayumi and zany antics of forging a newer, queerer and mostly undefinable family structure. Thought two mommies was queer? We are SO past that. Bring on queer family v.2.0.–Ayumi, Yuuki, Elaine, Bobert, Mark and the most fabulous cadre of aunties and uncles, grandparents and cousins ever (see, partial photo-montage below.)
Love and wonder preside; but every moment is full of reminders of how this was never meant to be. In all the years, reams of paperwork, the dreaming and contingency planning, Joannie and I couldn’t fully imagine the current scenario. It was just not in the realm of possibility, but here we are…I know Joannie would be relieved–even delighted, that the babies are surrounded by love, care and wonder at their every waking, sleeping and everything in-between moments. Al-b’s sleep inducing skills, Amy’s career advice, Snoo’s font of Good Ideas, Nana’s dance aspirations…The ineffable, foundational (new word), grounding force of our Cali. Love. And, Elaine, Bob and Mark’s 4:15am diaper changing/bottle feeding, career sacrifices, and absolute (albeit, worry-tinged) love. I sit in gratitude every waking minute (can’t vouch for the times I’m stealing a snoooooze…)
I know Joannie would be speechless (but thumbing through her recipes…), grateful and amused at all of our shenanigans and missteps. But this doesn’t make it easier as we try to make sense of each day with Ayumi and Yuuki and without Joannie. I wish so much that she were here with us. We miss you.
An incomplete, but kinda cool (if I do say so myself) photo montage of Yuuki and Ayumi’s peoples:





Party Time
≡ Category: Bonklets, Semi-daily thoughts | ≅ 7 Comments
This weekend, the babies went to their cousin Zoe’s first birthday party. Zoe’s serious demeanor has earned her the nickname, The Senator. (The picture above is not from this weekend, but from one of the Senator’s district visits.) It was a beautiful party full of the best kind of food ever–Korean, and doting friends and family to celebrate the milestone. Following Korean rituals, Zoe was prompted to choose an object to portend her future. Really, no pressure…just your manifest destiny.
I think tradition calls for pencils, bows and arrows and such, but somehow Zoe’s options included a Univ. of Michigan football, a “we are all undocumented” pin and an Apple mouse. Family influences are evident here. She picked the pin first and then showed writerly and musical leanings. I hope her Grandma and Debbie weren’t too disappointed about the shortage of Wolverine love. But the Saints won the Superbowl in her first year so that must count towards some sort of sports fandom in her future.

It was Ayumi and Yuuki’s first party. Thanks to Al-b’s sleep inducing bosom, they were very well behaved–meaning they slept and ate through the whole affair. As for the drive, they do well in the car as long as it’s moving. I’m told this is not unusual, but it’s just a touch inconvenient in stop and go weekend Manhattan traffic. We discovered Yuuki’s new superpower of announcing vehicular stillness by crying. Nobody likes to hear babies cry, but Bob looks like he’s going to cry when the babies cry. This is a problem when he is the one driving. He starts to get tempted with unwise choices like running red lights. We made it home safely and without being pulled over.
A fashion note: Bob dressed Ayumi and she was rocking this super cute shirt and shorts paired with a teeny sweater. I dressed Yuuki and let’s just say that I think I’ve been banned from dressing them for public appearances for at least the next 5 years*. I swear, I have better baby fashion sense, but I was overwhelmed by micro-size clothing everywhere. I admit I made some poor choices. I concur with the reviews of Yuuki’s outfit…”pastel vomit,” “that top looks like something from a charity hospital”, “how did you think those colors went together?” Hey, but she did have good hair. I get some points for that, right?
*Lest we fall into comparisons of gay man v. dyke fashion sensibilities, let us remember that coincidence does not equal causation…
Reporting to work
≡ Category: Bonklets, Semi-daily thoughts | ≅ 16 Comments
Our Blackberries are in full effect and having a conference!
Over the last six weeks, Bobert, Elaine and I have phased in our respective returns to work. I am blessed with a job that I actually want to return to and engage fully in, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to leave Ayumi and Yuuki every morning. I feel like I’m missing out on huge parts of their growth and worry that they won’t know me as anything other than the shadowy figure who feeds them at night.
The Bonklets are so fortunate to have two, sometimes three or four, adult caretakers, but varying degrees of workplace flexibility mean our time together with Yuuki and Ayumi is limited to a few hours a day. This week feels precious with Bob and Elaine at Bonkletville, Mark arriving soon and as always, Ayumi and Yuuki reporting to work. Yuuki is reveling in the experience by tormenting us with a newfound fussiness and difficulty latching to the bottle. Ayumi seems to be compensating by being pretty mellow about the whole thing.
We’ve been reading to them from the wonderful library of books their aunties and uncles have provided. Book of the Week is Freedom, by Jonathan Franzen. ok, maybe not. Bonklet Book Club pick is Barnyard Dance, or when read by Bobert, Barnyard Sashay. It’s my not so secret hope that early exposure will impart a love and wonder for books and stories.



